Saturday, January 24, 2015

First month

It has been well over a month since we left Holland and moved to Canada. With nothing more than what we could fit in our four suitcases we arrived. The first hotel was great. Luxurious and comfortable. We had a great nights sleep. The B&B we booked in our new hometown Edmonton wasn’t that great. Being four, our daughter was scared of the old building and was up almost all night. Luckily we had an appointment to look at a house the next day and fortunately the landlords wanted us to rent the house as much as we did. And so our adventure finally started!

The first month was weird most of all. Buying everything, literally everything, I know it sounds fun, but it really wasn’t. The pressure was on and we were blown away by the sheer magnitude of it all. From scissors to a couch, from a bed to a garbage bin. We all loaded it up and it kind of scared us. We had been so happy to part with so much stuff in Holland and now we were filling it all up again. It took us a few days to find out that it all came down to not feeling at home and desperately wanting to feel home. We had a good talk and found out what it was we really needed. When we bought those things, it started to feel a little better. Now that everyone has started their normal day ‘jobs’, it feels even better.

It creates time to reflect on the past weeks. There have been lows and I suddenly realized why those lows had been there. This move wasn’t just about moving, it was about starting all over. Somehow you just think everything will be different once you’ve arrived in your new country. Boy, was I wrong! Arriving here showed all our flaws even better than in our concealing, comfortable Dutch life. I realized that it was silly to think everything would magically change, after all we didn’t just bring those four suitcases, we moved our personal luggage as well. Our personalities weren’t left behind, nor was our joint past. It could have never been magically altered. Having said that, I did realize there were things that were easy enough to change and so I did. As I changed the small things I saw that it had never been about the big changes, but about a lot of small changes.

Honor the small is what I try to do this week. I try to think a lot about the things I want to change, the new life I want to live and I try to change it one tiny step at a time.

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